ignatieff HOT in pursuit

last week, stephen harper put his new "get bitchez" campaign strategy into action. ignatieff, not wanting to be left behind in this regard, has revealed his own take on harper's wildly successful campaign approach to win the female vote: dress like a transexual.

 

next week, it is expected that jack layton will follow suit, with his new "banging a senior citizen with a cane is kind of sexy, right?" campaign slogan. 

imagine what else he can do with that cane....

steve-o: a new campaign strategy

now, old steve-o has been called a great many things during his tenure as prime minister of canada. most of these monikers aren't anything special--they've been used time and time again with numerous other canadian leaders. "oh that [insert name here], he's a cold man, a master of manipulation, a dirty liar..." the list goes on and on.

but supply the common people with sufficient time and with enough hate-fuel, and they'll manage to cook up something a little more personal and a shit-ton more creative. lately, stephen has been branded as a bastard, a robot, a dictator, a nazi, a stalinist, and of course, a cannabilistic baby-murderer.

and steve-o's a smart guy. he knows he ain't gonna get any votes back by running around claiming that he doesn't slaughter infants--that won't convince anyone, as its common knowledge that stephen harper and babies have harbored extreme animosity towards one another for decades.

Exhibit #1

so harper has a different plan. afterall, babies don't vote! they're useless unless you want to use their supple flesh as a source of sustenance. no, the conservatives had to target another demographic altogether--a larger, more influential group of people.... so who did old steve-o decide to target in the end?

women.

ladies.

steve-o knows what he's good at, and he's good at seducing ladies. so harper as a new plan: to be sexy as humanly possible for a baby-eating nazi robot. seems inconceivable you say? not when you have moves like this:

 or when you roll dirty like this:

or when you play piano and sing like this:

the conservatives will be running an aggressive campaign this election, and at the forefront will be stephen harper: canadian, conservative, father, husband, family-man, stud. and if you think that this sort of campaign doesn't have a chance, well then, take a look at this:

 
he's already succeeding.